


Interruption

by Dekuscrub7



Category: The Last of Us (Video Games)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:02:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27307441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dekuscrub7/pseuds/Dekuscrub7
Summary: This is my first work so constructive criticism is always appreciated :OSlow burn, modern AU. A little bit of drama, a little bit of fluff. Should be fun!
Relationships: Dina & Ellie (The Last of Us), Dina/Ellie (The Last of Us)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 57





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Strumming the strings always felt right. Her fingers cascading up and down the frets. The sounds of the strings vibrating off the wood of the guitar. This is soothing, this is calm, this is home. 

To Ellie, she never could define home. Home was running away, getting attacked, blood and guts everywhere. It made Ellie’s heart beat a little too fast thinking about past pains, past panic. Home was a broken castle filled with empty rooms. Ellie lived in this castle until Joel came. And even with Joel, the castle was only a little less empty. Her pains from her past were too much to bear, so playing the guitar was the outlet. She had control over which strings to strum and which frets to play. 

She just started to pick up the guitar a little over a couple of months and she was getting pretty damn good at it. I mean, mind you, it was a pain in the ass to have calloused fingers and learn without a capo, but Ellie was getting used to it. Ellie was used to just enduring with what she had.

She practiced her chords a few times before calling it a night. Ellie set the guitar up near her bed and she went to the bathroom. She splashed some water in her face, rubbed her eyes and dared to look in the mirror. Her hair was messy and knotty, there were food stains on her shirt from the night before, and her eyes were puffy from no sleep. She was a mess.  
“God… I look fucked up.” She said to no one in particular. It was a little past 10 at night, and this was the time the bad thoughts would wake up and knock on her fucking door.  
Ellie wasn’t in the mood, so she grabbed her keys and headed out.

Jackson was a really nice, quiet, all-for-the-community town. Everyone knew each other, but not in a gossip kinda way. There was gossip, but it didn’t run the town. Everyone had their share of trouble, but that didn’t bother most folks. As long as you helped out the community in some form, everyone would treat you real nice.  
Ellie liked Jackson, but she didn’t love it. There were too many people who gave her a hard stare. There were too many people who asked too many questions. Where did you live before? Are you going to college soon? Do you have a boyfriend? Ellie didn’t liked to be question, especially by strangers.  
But, it was better than her other living situations. Joel seemed to like it here a lot, too, so if Joel was happy, she could pretend to be happy.

Around this time, there wasn’t much going on. The bars closed around nine, but there was still the one that was open. Ellie wasn’t in the mood for drinking, she just needed to clear her mind. So, she decided to take the scenic route and walk by the farms. Jackson was built like a mid-western town, so you still had the little mom and pop shops in the middle of town, but everything outside of the main street was mostly farms. Pig farms, chicken farms, vegetable farms, literally every farm that you can think of Jackson had one of those. Jackson was a strong town with strong soil, apparently.

The night air crawled up Ellie’s skin as a breeze passed by. She was walking for maybe 15 minutes now and it was getting cooler by the moment. Ellie rubbed her arms to warm them up, thought about going back for her jacket, but decided against it. She wasn’t ready to go back to Joel’s, just yet.

She marched forward while her mind ran elsewhere. It was a clusterfuck of thoughts, constantly whirling around until she couldn’t focus. Ellie felt her heart beat a little faster, so she took a moment to pause, breathe and look at the stars. You could see all the stars in Jackson. Even the constellations, too. Whenever Ellie would lose focus of what was in front of her, she would look up. The stars always helped her breathe.

As she was counting down from breathing in, she heard footsteps creep towards her. Ellie was a little outside from the main street, so she’s not sure who would be walking around this time. Maybe someone was following her? Or maybe it was just a stray cat? Before she could consider those thoughts, she shoved them right into the tiny box in the back of her brain. She was in Jackson; bad things didn’t happen in Jackson. 

She decided to walk off the path and into a little woodsy area. She could catch her breath and gather her thoughts more clearly if she was off the path. But her distracted mind got the best of her as she tripped over a branch, fell forward flat on her face. She felt embarrassed, but more so nervous because the footsteps gathered speed. She picked up a rock closest to her and cocked her arm back ready to glock it at her assailant. 

“Woah! Are you okay?” a nervous voice asked, followed then by, “Wait hold it! What are you doing?” Once Ellie’s eyes adjusted she realized it was a girl around the same age as her. She was a little shorter, with brown hair tied into a high ponytail. Her skin was sun-kissed with a couple freckles surrounding her face. Her nose was a little too big for her small, round face, but the flaws made her that much cuter. She was wearing short-shorts and a dirty tank top with sweat dripping down her face. And her legs. And her arms, but Ellie tried not to look for long.

Obviously, Ellie was staring at the girl. Her face was full of dirt and scratches, pants ripped on the knees, and holding a rock like she was about to pop a grenade into an oncoming army. Turns out, the army was a short, non-threatening girl, and Ellie looked like a complete ass. After a moment of confusion, Ellie realized the state she was in and felt a surge of embarrassment run up her cheeks.

“I, uh, yes I’m okay.” Ellie looked at the girl and at the rock, deciding best to maybe not knock this girl out, and tossed it to the side. “Sorry, I, uhm,” clearing her throat, “thought you were following me and got nervous.” Ellie patted the dirt off her jeans and slowly rose up. 

This girl went through a mixture of facial expressions - confused, empathetic - and ended with tired and concerned. She reached over to grab Ellie and help her up. Ellie shied away at first, and taking that as a no, the girl flinched slightly back. As Ellie was standing up the girl said, “I didn’t mean to scare you.” She gave Ellie a small grin. “This is the only time I can get away and clear my thoughts. When I first saw you I thought you were a dead animal at first.” She chuckled at the last bit. Ellie just smiled.

Not really sure what to say, a couple of awkward silences passed by, Ellie was about to speak when the girl interrupted. “Well, I’m sorry, again. I’ll let you continue your walk.” Giving Ellie a nervous smile she walked past her and picked up her speed continuing forward. 

Ellie didn’t say anything. She just watched her go. Who was she? Ellie was sure she met or at least knew of everyone in Jackson, was she new? She’s around the same age as her, so how has she never seen her before? As these questions bubbled further, Ellie realized two things. 1) she never asked for her name and 2) she was staring at this girl's ass the whole time. Filled with complete embarrassment, she decided maybe it was time to call it a night and go back to Joel’s.

Dragging herself back to Joel’s, she noticed that the light was on. This was bad news. It meant Joel was up. And you know where Ellie was? Right outside the house torturing herself. If she went in, Joel would be upset. If she didn’t, she could live outside for the rest of her days. Could she take her chance of survival by herself? She would miss her bed, sure, but running away so she can avoid one of Joel’s terrible lectures didn’t sound so bad. As she continued to ponder, Ellie rubbed her tired eyes and stifled a yawn. She pushed herself forward. She could handle Joel right now.

“Hey there,” Ellie said awkwardly as she closed the door behind her. Joel was waiting in the living room, a cup of coffee firmly grasped. The record player was playing mindlessly in the background. It was a soft, sad country song. This was another sign of bad news to follow.  
“Had a lot on your mind?” Joel looked up from his coffee cup. His voice was timber to a touch, a tad hoarse from just waking up.

“Uh, yeah. How was work today?” Ellie nervously wrung her hands together, tapping her feet on the ground. Joel knew better than to pry, so he replied as Ellie sat down across from him.  
“It was fine. Just fine.” He continued to stroke his beard, then take a sip. “That new guy is picking up pretty well. He actually reminds me a lot of you.”  
Ellie didn’t want to amuse him, but she knew she had to get on his good side so she played along, “Yeah, why is that old man?”  
“Well, he curses a lot, much like you. And, hm, he’s a hard worker. He doesn’t complain either.” Joel chuckled. “Come to think of it, you seem to complain a lot.” He took another sip and finished the last of his coffee.  
The punchline was coming now. It was past one o’clock in the morning and Ellie needed to be up to help Maria. She wanted Joel to hurry up.  
“Joel. Please. You know I have to be up. Just say you’re mad at me and yell at me so I can go to bed.”  
That seemed to wake him up. Irritated, he said, “God dammit. That’s not how this works Ellie. I know you’ve been shutting me out. And I can handle the moody comments and the cursing, but you still have to follow my rules.” He said that last part with a bite.  
Now Ellie was annoyed. Any ounce of patience she had for Joel was thrown out the fucking window.  
“Well I’m so fucking sorry for my cursing and my “moody” comments. I just needed to take a walk, okay!” Ellie was standing up now. Joel must’ve just realized the state she was in, which brought a mixture of concern and pure hot anger.  
“Ellie, my god what happened to you?” He crossed the room to examine more closely. Ellie brushed him away.  
“Oh my god. I’m fine. Joel. Please, I just,” Exasperated, Ellie took a moment to collect herself. Pinching her nose, she exhaled and said, “Listen, I’m sorry I didn’t leave a note telling you where I went. You know I usually do, I just forgot this time. I’ll do whatever chores you need me tomorrow after I’m done with Maria.” That was the best apology Ellie could offer in this moment. Of course, Joel accepted.  
“I know, Ellie, I know. I know you don’t wanna talk and you handle things your own way that’s fine. But you gotta do these little things that I ask.” This was the most Ellie and Joel have spoken in the past four months.  
“I know.” Ellied replied. She looked at Joel’s eyes. They told so many emotions; sadness, anger, frustration, concern, even fear. Joel said, “Okay.” And he went to the kitchen to put his mug away. Ellie watched him shuffle around the kitchen.  
“Good night Joel.”  
“Good night kid.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Constructive criticism is always appreciated. Also, a heads up, while this fic is dedicated mostly to Ellie and Dina, I will be focusing on Ellie and Joel's relationship, too.
> 
> Or really, pretty much every relationship Ellie has with someone.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some cuteness headed your way :)

Waking up at six in the morning wasn’t that bad. Ellie actually liked the mornings, but not when she only had three hours of sleep. She felt annoyed. She was annoyed at herself for fighting with Joel. She was annoyed that she didn’t leave the goddamn note. More importantly, she was annoyed for running into that girl. Ellie thought about asking Joel who she was, but by the time Ellie woke up, Joel had already left.

Leaving this early meant Joel would be home earlier, too, so maybe Ellie could ask then. Ellie wrapped herself in a work jacket of Joel’s, ripped jeans, converse and slung her old, tattered backpack around her shoulder. It was a crisp 45 degrees with a touch of fog outside. The fog made Jackson look more ghostly than ever, especially around this time in the morning.

Ellie walked a few blocks from her house down to Maria’s Stables. Maybe Maria would know who that girl is. Maria has a better idea of the townsfolk better than Joel does. Furthermore, did Ellie really want to talk to Joel?

Walking into the stables Ellie greeted the horses down the row. She came up closely to a horse with butter red painted all along its massive frame. She was fond of this horse for some reason.

“Hey Shimmer girl. How you doing?” Ellie scratched underneath Shimmer’s chin. Shimmer nuzzled closer to Ellie’s head. “Aw, yeah. You like that girl?” Ellie patted her head and walked towards the shovels. She put on the work gloves that were hanging by the door and sat her backpack down.  
Ellie worked for a couple hours with the horses. She cleaned up their stables, brushed the horses, fed them, cleared the hay, and once she was done she headed down to the chickens.   
It was closer to ten o’clock when Ellie went in the chickens. Ellie repeated a similar process before it got to around eleven when Maria showed up.

“Ellie!” Maria exclaimed. “My, my don’t you look happy to be here?” Maria was holding a big bucket of water as she passed by. She was dressed in a dark blue button up shirt with work pants and shoes. Her hair was cut to a bob with grey cascading her face. She was around the same age as Joel, but her eyes sparkled with a young ferocity. Ellie fucked around with Joel a lot, but she knew not to fuck around with Maria.  
“Mornin,’” was all Ellie could huff out in between chores. As she finished up with the chickens, she decided to catch what Maria was doing.

She walked down closer to the pig pens and followed the ungodly stench from there. She saw Maria crouching down feeding the little piglets.   
“There you go little piggy piggies. You feed up now and get nice and fat.” Ellie wasn’t the only one in the family who talked to animals so lovingly. Maybe it’s because they can’t scold back.  
“Uh, Maria I have a question for you.” Ellie started to shuffle her feet around.  
“Yes, you can leave early today,” Maria said immediately. “Joel told me about your little conversation from last night.” She turned around to face Ellie. Maria looked worried.   
“Ugh, wait what? Since when does Joel talk to you about “our little conversations”?”  
“He didn’t say much, you know he doesn’t say much about anything. But I caught him while he was leaving work this morning.” She paused. “You know he’s just worried about you.” One of the piglets squealed with delight. At least someone’s happy.

Wanting to avoid this conversation anymore, Ellie does what she does best - distract.  
“Have you heard of anybody moving in recently? I met this girl the other night and, uh, I haven’t seen her around before.” Ellie stammered at the end, maybe realizing opening up to Maria about this wasn’t the best decision.  
Maria’s eyes focused on Ellie examining the girl in front of her. Whatever was on her mind, she clearly didn’t mention it in front of Ellie.  
“No, not that I know of... “ It seems like Maria wanted to say more, but she left it at that.  
“Well, come to think of it, we did have a pair of sisters move in about a month ago. Seemed like stragglers, the one look like she’s seen Hell and back.” Maria was walking out from the pig pen into the daylight, so Ellie followed pressing for more information.

Before Ellie could get a word in, Maria cut her off. “I wouldn’t go bothering them. They seem… They seem like wanderers. They’re probably not going to stay long before they move to the next town.”  
Ellie felt a pit of defeat in her stomach.   
“I know you know what that’s like to not find a home, so I wouldn’t bother with them.”  
Ellie knew Maria was just trying to look out for her, but she really didn’t need another lecture.   
“Okay, got it. Thanks.” Ellie’s reply was short and curt. She fished out her work gloves and hung them up by the stables.   
“I’m going to leave early.”  
“I told you you could.”  
Ellie slung her backpack and walked out the gates. It was a little past noon and Ellie had all the time in the world… For what.

Joel arrived home early. Ellie was upstairs picking away at her guitar. She wasn’t really practicing or playing anything in particular, just messing around trying to set her mind at ease.   
“Hey kiddo” Joel said as he walked into her room.  
“Hey Joel.” Ellie didn’t look up from her guitar.  
“Maria let you leave early?”  
“Yeah, she did actually. How was work?” Ellie sighed and put the guitar beside her bed.  
“Fine, just fine.” Joel scratched his beard. “Listen, some fellas and Tommy are having poker night. I probably won’t be home til late.”  
“Okay, make sure you leave a note.” Ellie said sarcastically.  
Joel just chuckled at that, “Yeah, okay. I will.”  
A few moments pass. Ellie fiddling around with her thumbs, Joel mirroring her movements not purposefully.  
“Well, I’m going to grab some lunch. You need anything?”  
“Nope.”  
“Okay, if you need to just call.” With that, Joel walked out of her room. Ellie grabbed her phone to see if there’s anyone she could call to hang out with. She didn’t want to be alone by herself tonight. Of course, she could probably invite herself to Joel’s poker night. She’s been a few times before and it was actually pretty fun. But that was a couple years ago when her and Joel were on the right page. Things have changed since then.

Ellie scrolled through her very short contact list and came up on a name “CAT <3” she hovered over the name for a second, not sure whether to text her. A moment passed and Ellie decided if she was really lonely, she would call her. But it’s best to find something else for the time being. 

After putting her phone away, Ellie went through her comics and started to reread one of her favorite issues. Not much longer, the lack of sleep started to melt away her insides and she felt the warm grasp of the sandman overcome her.

When Ellie woke up, it was dark outside. There was drool on the side of her pillow with her comic still on her lap. She rolled over and slowly stretched to check the time. It was a little past eight, which meant Joel was probably out. While standing, her stomach reminded her that she hadn’t eaten today, yet.

There was a note left on the counter in Joel’s handwriting: “HOLLER IF YOU NEED ME - JOEL”  
Ellie knew this was Joel’s way of being funny, a small smirk grew on her face. She walked to the cabinet to see if there was anything she could make quickly. After coming up with only a can of soup and some beans, Ellie decided that maybe tonight was the night to get super high and order pizza.

Ellie picked a corny, 80s sci-fi movie from Joel’s endless collection. She popped it in, started to roll a few joints and called the only pizza place in town.  
“Jackson Pizza Parlor.” A girl’s voice answered.  
“Hey, uh, is Georgie there?” Ellie replied. She knew it was late, but Georgie would usually deliver to her late for a small fee of one joint.  
“Oh no, I’m sorry. He had to leave early. Could I take a message?”  
“No, no that’s okay.” Ellie paused not sure if she should hang up or try her charms on this girl. “I wanted to order a pizza.” She said dumbly.  
The girl laughed into the receiver. “Well, good thing this is a pizza parlor. What would you like?”  
Ellie smiled. “No, I mean. Ugh, God. Georgie is usually my late night delivery person. I don’t want to add that burden on you.”  
“Burden? Isn't it my job to deliver pizzas?” This girl must be insanely bored to humor Ellie so much.  
“Yeah, I guess you’re not wrong. Okay, can I have one large with extra cheese?”  
“Okay, one large with extra cheese. Is that all Miss excessive?”  
“Hey now, don’t get saucy with me.” Ellie was feeling real ballsy, maybe it was the lack of food. She heard the girl laugh on the other end. “Yeah that’s all. My information should be saved under Ellie Williams.”  
“Ellie Williams… Okay, I got it. Should be about 20 minutes.”  
“Okay, great.” A pause. “Thanks, see you soon.”  
“Bye now.” And with that click, Ellie realized that voice sounded oddly familiar.

Ellie waited closer to a half hour for this pizza. It was about 8:45 and she felt a surge of regret. The place closes at nine, she knows how annoying it is when someone comes in at the last minute when you’re about the close. Ellie went upstairs to find her savings and fish out a couple of extra dollars. She’s sure this girl wouldn’t accept a joint, so money is just as good, right?

As she waited a couple more minutes, she heard a knock on the door. Ellie was slightly blazed and incredibly hungry. She fumbled around to put out the joint and headed towards the door. As she opened it, she recognized it was the girl from the other night. 

Except this time, she was dressed differently. She had on the Pizza Parlor uniform which was a light blue t-shirt with the logo on it. It was tied in the back to give this girl a more fitted look. She had on tight blue jeans and her hair was tied in a bun. Ellie must’ve been staring because the girl replied first.

“Oh, hey. I remember you. You’re the girl that tried to murder me with a rock.”  
Ellie was too high for this. “Yep, that’s me.” She graciously took the pizzas. Still staring, the girl said, “So yeah. That’ll be $13.06 Miss Saucy.” Ellie grabbed a handful of money, not really counting it to make sure she wasn’t overtipping and handed it to the girl.  
The girl pocketed the money. The smell of weed was now overwhelming the smell of pizza.   
“You throwing a party?” The girl nudged with her chin forward to the mess in the living room. Weed and rolling papers out, a bottle of Coke open, and the movie playing loudly in the background.  
Ellie looked back and laughed loudly. “Yeah, sure. A pity party for myself… You want to come in?” Ellie was unsure in her question. But she could use the company. And maybe a new face would take her mind off of some things.  
“Are you going to try to kill me?”   
“I might.” Ellie shrugged.  
“Well, okay. I closed the store before I got here, so, why not?” The girl crossed over into the living room, Ellie closing the door behind her. They both stood awkwardly for a moment until Ellie sat down on the couch and placed the pizza on the coffee table, the girl following suit.  
The girl took her hair down and flipped it around her face. It was wavy and bouncy, fitting her angles just right. Ellie was staring again, and if the girl noticed she didn’t say anything.  
“So, what are we watching?”   
Ellie grabbed a couple of slices and began to scarff them down. It was probably a little embarrassing eating pizza in front of a mysterious, pretty girl, but her hunger overcame her.  
“It’s called Space Pirates: Return of the Booty. It’s a shitty 80’s sci-fi film.” Ellie said in between bites.  
“Sounds like a porno to me.”  
Ellie chuckled. “It’s really not bad once you get past the corniness. Which I guess you could say so for porn, too.”  
The girl threw her head back and laughed. Her laugh was nice. It was warm and loud, but not obnoxious. It filled the room in all the right, empty spaces.   
“That’s true I guess.”   
Ellie put down one of the slices. “Do you want a hit, or pizza?”  
The girl looked over at Ellie. She had deep, brown eyes. They reminded her of Joels a little bit, with a sad severity behind them. “I’ll take a hit. I’m good on pizza for now. You know, I actually never had this pizza before yet, but I’ve been working there for a few weeks.”  
Ellie offered her the joint. The girl didn’t take it from Ellie’s hands and instead Ellie held it while the girl inhaled the joint. Ellie’s fingers didn’t waiver, she held on steady as the girl’s lips were just a little too close to her fingers. They probably smelled like weed and pizza. Great.

The girl exhaled through her nose as smoke billowed out. “Wow, that’s good shit.” She coughed a little and smiled. “I need to find a good weed guy out here.”  
“I could recommend you to my guy.”  
“Oh yeah? Is this how you get pizza delivered so late? You woo the poor pizza deliverer your weed magic.”  
Ellie laughed and rolled her eyes. She was really enjoying this banter. “Oh yeah, that’s the only way I make friends.” It didn’t mean to come off harsh, but the girl looked a little taken back.  
She didn’t say anything though. She just took another hit from Ellie’s joint, making the inhale last a little longer.  
They talked for the remainder of the movie. Mostly about nothing; making fun of the terrible special effects, why pepperoni pizza is the superior topping, if we could travel anywhere where it would be, just silly stuff. Ellie went to the bathroom to pee once, making sure her face and outfit were decently presentable. When she came back, their conversation picked right up where it left off.  
“I would definitely go to Jupiter.” Ellie replied while she sat back down, the credits were rolling.  
“Jupiter? Isn’t that a little… far? And how would you get there? I’m sure none of these horses could survive that long.”  
“.... Why would I bring a horse and not a rocket ship?”  
“Well, how are you getting a rocket ship?”  
“Man, I don’t know! This is my fantasy so let me have it.” They laughed and smoked a little more. The girl ended up having a slice of pizza, which she was pleasantly surprised by how good it was. “I didn’t know such a yeehaw town knew how to make good pizza.” Ellie was about to put on another movie when the girl stood up.  
“Well, thanks for the pizza and weed. And for not trying to kill me.”  
“I could’ve poisoned the pizza, or the weed.”  
The girl pondered for a moment. “This is true.”  
Ellie smiled. Her face was starting to hurt from this new found position. She went to walk the girl out. The place smelled of weed and grease. Ellie would need to fan everything out before Joel got home, so maybe it was good the girl was leaving early.  
The girl walked out the door and turned around quickly. “You should check the bottom of the pizza box. I left a little note.”  
The word “note” left a bad taste in her mouth, but Ellie didn’t want her to see that. “Oh, sure… See you soon I hope.” Ellie left that last remark hanging in the air.   
“Me too. Bye Ellie.” And with that the girl walked out into the darkness of the night.

Ellie sighed and sniffed her arm. She smelled pretty bad. It was a mixture of sweat, horse shit and dirt. “God dammit what’s wrong with you?” Ellie scolded herself. Feeling defeated that she’s probably never going to see this girl again, she heeded the girl's advice and checked the bottom of the pizza box.

In sharpie it wrote: “WHAT DOES A PIZZA WEAR TO SMELL GOOD? CALZONGE. :p TEXT ME - DINA” and underneath she wrote her number out. This had to be a joke, yes the pizza joke, but more so there has to be a reason this girl is messing with her.

Dina. Her name was Dina. She wasted no time to input the name and number in her phone, but would she text her? It’s too soon now. She would look like a weirdo. So, Ellie would wait until the time was right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks all for the nice words & kudos on my previous chapter! appreciate it
> 
> major thanks to my friend Jackie for helping me proofread.
> 
> hope everyone enjoyed this chapter. i'm going to try to post once a week. so, i'll see you then!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> not a lot going on in this one. mostly to set up the next chapter.

A week passed by in lame fashion. Ellie hadn’t seen Dina since she delivered her pizza. She hadn’t dared tried to text her. Of course, there had been attempts.  
Hey… it’s Ellie. What’s up?  
No, no. That’s too boring.  
Hey! Nice pizza joke. It was a little cheesy.  
No, no. That’s just terrible.  
Ellie went through a couple more rough drafts until she would give up and find another distraction. Maybe she didn’t want to be texted, maybe she was just being nice? A couple theories crossed her mind. She tried to talk to Joel about it on one occasion, but that didn’t go too well.

“Joel, can I ask you something?”  
Joel was working on another custom guitar. He put the wood shaver to the side and turned to look at Ellie.  
“What’s goin’ on?”  
“So, I kinda met someone.” Joel’s eyebrows perked up. “Well, not like that. I just… I just don’t know how to talk to her now.” Ellie didn’t know why she was talking to Joel. But she needed to talk to someone about her latest predicament.  
“Did she do something that bothered you?” Joel asked innocently.  
“What?” Ellie gave him a look. “No, no I don’t think so. You know I’m not the best at making friends, so I’m trying not to fuck this up.”  
“Well, kid, it seems like you’re already fuckin’ up.” Joel chuckled to himself.  
“Goddammit Joel you’re the worst.” With that, Ellie stormed off.

The worst part was that Joel wasn’t totally wrong. She really should just text Dina, but every time she typed in a message, she would delete it and toss her phone aside. 

It was the first Friday of the month, which meant it was the monthly local music festival. Ellie’s been to a couple before and even got to perform at one with the assistance of Joel. It’s usually the most popular day of the month for Jackson. All the food vendors are out, local artists get to sell their work, and musicians from all over get to come and promote themselves.  
Joel tried to convince Ellie to come out, but she wasn’t in the mood. It’s been awhile since she last went to one, and while they were all fun, those were different times back then.

“C’mon, you’ve been holed up in your room all week now. It’ll be good to get some fresh air.” Joel was standing by Ellie’s door while Ellie was engrossed in another comic.  
Ellie sighed. “Joel, I’m good. And I haven’t been in my room all week.” She looked up from her comic. “What do you think I do at Maria’s?”  
“All work and no play makes Ellie a dull girl.” Joel quoted. He seemed proud to have remembered a very famous quote.  
“Maybe Ellie likes being a dull girl.” Ellie said with a snap. She looked up from her comic and could see the defeat in Joel’s face. There was a feeling of guilt that bubbled deep inside, but as always, it passed.  
“Well… if you need anythin’, just holler kiddo.” Joel adjusted the guitar around his shoulder and gave Ellie a small wave.  
“Sure, see ya Joel.” she said as he walked out of her room.  
An hour passed by and Ellie could hear the attraction that was blaring outside. Ellie thought about maybe going to see what new bands were playing or what new food was selling. But the thought of going into a swarm of crowds by herself immediately put her mind into a frenzy.  
She took a moment to collect herself after some breathing. After some time passed, maybe it was minutes, or hours, Ellie thought about ordering pizza again. Did she want a deja vu? After some consideration, she was already dialing the number.  
A few rings rang and ended up on voicemail.  
“Oh shit, of course they’re closed tonight.” During the music festival, most food places closed and instead set up food stands. This left Ellie with only one option.  
But what if she’s not free? Or what if she gave me the wrong number? Or -  
A flurry of thoughts ganged up on Ellie. She tried to push them down, but it only got worse. Racing thoughts were something Ellie will never get used to. She tried to focus on her breathing, but the thoughts became louder and louder. It was like someone was pounding on her internal door. 

BANG! BANG! BANG! It took Ellie a moment to realize someone was pounding on her door. Ellie checked the time to see it was 9:43 which meant Joel was still probably at the festival. Unless something happened.  
Before anymore bad thoughts could disrupt her, Ellie sprinted down the staircase to the front door. The banging only increased louder and louder.  
“Okay, okay! I’m coming Jesus Christ…” Ellie opened the door to an unknown face.  
“Oh, hey. Uh, Is Joel home?”  
The boy standing in front of her was tall, taller than Ellie. His skin was olive toned, while his eyes were slanted ever so slightly. His hair was black and straight that swooped just over his eyes, so black it almost had a dark blue effect to it. When he spoke, Ellie could hear a splash Southern charm.  
“No…” Ellie was examining the newcomer in front of her. “He’s at the music festival.”  
“Ohhhhh. Yeah he did say something like that.” He scratched his head looking away from Ellie. “Well, I came by to drop off something he left at work.” He handed Ellie an old, forest green hoodie. Ellie got this for Joel as a Christmas present one year. Ellie took it cautiously.  
“Uh, thanks. I’ll tell him you stopped by…?”  
“Jesse.” He held out his hand for Ellie to shake. It was firm and strong. Joel told her you can trust someone by their handshake.  
“Ellie.” She smiled and he returned the gesture back.  
“Oh, so you’re the one that got him that nasty hoodie?” He said jokingly.  
“Listen, it didn’t always look like this. Not my fault he’s a slob.”  
“He may be, but he’s hard working. He’s been showing me around work a lot. Been really helpful.” Jesse put his hands in his pocket. His phone was ringing in his hand.  
“Excuse me, sorry.”  
Ellie took this as her cue to leave this conversation. “No problem, thanks again.”  
Ellie went to shut the door. “Oh, yeah okay. See ya.” Jesse said as he went to pick up his phone.  
As she shut the door she could hear his muddled conversation.  
“Dina? Yeah what you up to girl?”  
Dina.  
She didn’t hear much, but she heard the sound of laughter trailing off. Ellie felt an unfamiliar feeling dwell inside her. She didn’t want to give this feeling a name, so she brushed it off as nothing. She thought about maybe going for another walk or watching a movie to get her mind off of it. By the time she got to her room, she rolled a couple joints, smoked too much weed and passed out by the time Joel got home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, thank you for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ellie goes for a walk to clear her head and she bumps into familiar faces

Ellie spent her six out of the seven days of the week waking up early, working til the late afternoon and spending the rest of the time locked in her room. However, this Saturday was a little different for Ellie. She woke up to a missed call and voicemail from Maria.  
“Hey El, just callin’ to tell you don’t worry about coming in today. I gotta take Tommy to see a doctor. He took a little too many whiskeys last night and now he’s hollerin that he’s dying. I sure hope so because I’m tired of his whining… anyway. If you could come in tomorrow that’d be great. Thanks baby.”  
Ellie hadn’t had a Saturday off in… well never. Whatever Tommy drank must’ve been bad because that man is usually good about holding in liquor. The Millers have strong stomachs and stubborn heads - that last bit is something Ellie can relate to.  
Once again, Ellie was faced in the dilemma of trying to find something to do. Before she could consider much further, Joel knocked on her bedroom door.

“Come in.” Ellie said with an air of annoyance.  
“Good mornin’ Ellie.” Joel said. His eyes were dark underneath and he was holding a glass of water in his hand.  
“I’m assuming you heard about Tommy.” Joel sat down by Ellie’s guitar. “Last night was a rough one.”  
“What the fuck did you guys do?” Ellie said with an innocent snark. Seeing Joel this beaten up gave Ellie a little bit of satisfaction, but also sheer awe of how alcohol messed up both Miller boys.  
“You know,” Joel straightened up a little. “You know that band that came by a few years ago. They had that girl drummer.”  
“Oh yeah Joel. I remember.” Ellie remembered Joel had a little crush on the drummer. She tried to convince him to go for it, but he was too chicken.  
“Well, she was there. And I remember what you told me last time. So I went for it.”  
“No way! Old man has got moves.” Ellie was impressed, but a little bummed that she wasn’t there to witness the marvel of Joel’s smooth moves.  
Joel laughed and rubbed his beard. “No, not quite.” He sighed. “She didn’t seem much interested. And Tommy wasn’t the best wing man. So we decided to drown out our sorrows on a couple bottles of whiskeys.”  
Ellie laughed at that. “A couple?” Ellie laughed harder. “What’s a couple to you?”  
“I don’t really want to talk about it…” Joel joined in on Ellie’s laughter. It was nice to sit and laugh with Joel.  
“Oh yeah, Jesse came by last night.”  
“He did? What for?”  
“He brought back the Christmas hoodie that you left at work.”  
“Oh shoot… I do love that hoodie. I’ll have to thank him on Monday.”  
Ellie didn’t respond. Talking about Jesse gave her a sense of bitterness. She wanted to change the subject or better yet for Joel to leave so maybe she can go back to sleep.  
“I think you guys would get along. I told you he reminds me of you didn’t I?”  
Joel was pushing his luck.  
Ellie rubbed her face from exhaustion and frustration. She stretched out her eyes and left her hands hang in front of her face.  
“He has a nice handshake I guess.” She said through her hands. “I think I’m going to try to go back to sleep.” She said as she placed her hands in front of her lap.  
Joel started to stand up, huffing a bit as he rose. “Sure thing. I’ll let you be.” He rubbed his eyes a few times and walked out Ellie’s door making sure to close it behind him.

She didn’t really want to sleep. It’s hard for Ellie to go back to sleep once she was already up. The sun was peeking through her window. As the light filtered through, a golden arrow was pointing towards her running shoes.  
Ellie opened her windows to get the full brunt of the sun. The warmth tickled her skin. Taking this as a sign, Ellie laced up and decided a nice run would do her some good.

The beginning of fall was right around the corner and Jackson was changing its colors. Pumpkins were popping on peoples doorsteps. The leaves were melting away on the sidewalks. The breeze felt cooler and comforting. Ellie liked the fall - it was a break from the heat of the summer. And since she was always working outside, she would embrace the cold at any given moment.

It’s been awhile since Ellie went out for a full run. She wasn’t totally out of shape, Maria made sure of that, but taking a run around the town was much different than loading piles of horse shit daily. The town was a little less lively than Ellie expected. Maybe everyone was feeling a hangover after last night's festivities.

She went around her block a couple times then decided to take it further down the farm trails. There were a few kids outside playing. They were chasing each other and calling names, one kid started throwing rocks at the other. Ellie just smiled and laughed. She probably would’ve been the kid to throw rocks at her friends, too.

She was looping around the farms when she started to feel a pain on her side. Ellie slowed down and checked the time. It’s been about an hour since she started her run. Maybe it was time to take a break and grab some water. She took a light jog to Baby’s Snack Shop. It was her first Saturday off, so why not treat herself to a candy bar or two? … or three?

Upon entering, there was the light jingle of the bell on the door. An older woman was stocking the shelves. She was wearing a deep blue shawl around her shoulders. Her peppered gray hair with streaks of blonde was tied with a purple scrunchy. There were a couple teenagers inside, too.  
“Hey Baby,” Ellie said to the old woman.

Baby looked up at Ellie, her eyes squinting to get a better look even though Ellie was only a feet away. “Oh hey Ellie.” She stood up and brushed herself off. “Lovely day isn’t it. I always love the smell of fall.” She scooted over behind the counter and punched in a few numbers on the register.

“What’s fall smell like to you?” Ellie asked as she was browsing the candy section.

“Smells like a bunch of fuckin’ kids trying to steal my shit. Hey YOU! Yeah I see you!” Baby didn’t miss a beat. She hollered and pointed at the teenagers stuffing away bottles of energy drink down their shirts. They were frozen with fear by the sudden outburst from Baby.

“You guys better beat it or Baby’s gonna fuck you up.” Ellie warned, giving them the side eye. They took Ellie’s advice and sprinted leaving the energy drinks behind. Baby just shook her head. “Thanks doll, kids just don’t have manners like they used to.” Baby started to ring up Ellie’s things.

“Used to? You sure you weren’t a little shithead when you were young?” Ellie remarked taking a sip of water. “Well, of course. But I ain’t never did steal anything. My folks taught me better than that.”

“Maybe some people don’t have the best folks.” Ellie looked away, feeling the fresh water keeping her cool and calm.  
Baby didn’t say anything to that. Maybe she didn’t want to poke Ellie or maybe she just didn’t have anything good to add to that. Either way, Ellie didn’t mind.  
“Thanks Baby, if I see those kids I’ll give them Hell.” She smirked at the old woman.  
Baby returned the smile. “Thanks Ellie, you’re a good kid.” Ellie waved goodbye and went out the door.

Her body was turned around to wave to Baby so she didn’t notice the oncoming person walking towards her.  
“Woah!” Ellie said as she almost collided. She did a little stutter step away to get her bearings.  
In front of her was Jesse and Dina. Jesse was wearing a warm, durable tan work jacket with ripped jeans. His hair flowing in the wind. Dina had on a camo bomber jacket, hair down with black, skin tight jeans. She looked good.

Ellie was wearing a dirty tank with short shorts on, that were probably also dirty, and scuffed up running shoes. She didn’t look good or impressive compared to Jesse.

“Oh hey!” Jesse said, now recognizing Ellie. “You’re Joel’s kid, right?”  
“I’m not his kid,” she said, deadpanned.  
Jesse looked a little bewildered. Dina sensed the tension creeping in and deciding to change the subject.  
“This was the second time you almost killed me,” Dina said jokingly.  
Ellie internally thanked Dina for her snark and saving grace. “If you really think me running into you at an old woman’s corner store is a sign of someone trying to kill you, well then you got issues lady.”  
“Oh?” Dina raised her eyebrows, giving a sign of mock offense. “I’m the one with issues? Who tries to swindle their poor pizza delivery girl for weed and a terrible movie?”  
Ellie actually seemed a bit offended now. “A terrible movie?! You know you loved it.” Ellie pouted, taking a sip of her water so as to not act nervous.  
“Some parts weren’t so bad,” Dina said watching Ellie take a sip, eyes clearly not on her lips.

Either Jesse was zoning out or occupied with something on his phone, but the mention of weed caught his attention.  
“You guys wanna light up?” He looked both back and Dina and Ellie.  
Ellie seemed uncomfortable. Did she really want to hang out with this doofus and Dina? She tried to come up with an excuse, but before she could Dina beat her to the punch.  
“Nobody’s at my place,” she looked over at Ellie.  
Both Dina and Jesse were waiting on her answer. She rubbed the back of her head, averting their eyes. It was her first Saturday off after all.  
“Oh what the hell…” she muttered to no one but herself. “Yeah, sure. Let me go home and change then I’ll be over.” Dina tried to not look too enthusiastic but she couldn’t help herself. Her face was beaming. Jesse was playing flappy bird on his phone.  
“Cool, I’ll text you my address.”  
“See you there man!” Jesse slapped Ellie on the shoulder. He was strong.  
They walked away together, seemingly forgetting why they came to Baby’s in the first place. Their hands were a little too close to one another, their steps were evenly matched. Ellie tried not to dwell or tear apart these little instances, so she took out her phone to send her first message to Dina.

As she opened her phone and typed in Dina’s name, there was already a message written out where Ellie didn’t send it.  
 _How do fish get stoned? Sea weed._  
Ellie laughed at herself. She was relieved that this wasn’t the first text she sent to Dina.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> after this chapter the fic will slowwwlly gain more speed. it is a slow burn after all lol.
> 
> thanks for reading as always!


	5. Chapter 5

When Ellie arrived home, Joel was passed out on the couch with a movie playing in the background. It was a movie Ellie recognized immediately. The Ghost of a Country Poet. It is one of Joel’s favorite and corniest. It’s about a man who learns how to play the guitar from a ghost of an ex lover. He eventually becomes really big, but he can never truly fulfill his dreams because he can’t fill the gap in his heart. The first time Ellie watched it with Joel she made fun of all the corny, sad scenes. Joel would chime in or sometimes defend the movie.  
“You just don’t understand Ellie.”  
“Oh yeah, I’m the one who doesn’t understand. You’re totally right, talking to ghosts makes you magically better at playing guitar.”  
Joel would laugh and they would continue the banter. Those times were good, now Ellie can’t remember the last time they watched a movie together.

Joel was snoring soundly as Ellie walked past. She felt bad waking him up, so she figured she would rush to put on some decent, clean clothes then get out of his way. And leave a note, of course.

After she was satisfied with a plaid shirt and a pair of blue jeans she roughly combed her hair to look presentable. She put on a pair of new working boots because they were the only kind of shoes she owned and these didn’t smell like shit yet. Ellie did a quick take in the mirror. She flipped her hair around to get it the look she wanted, but gave up. She felt her phone vibrate and checked the message.

 _Let me know when you’re on your way! Jesse and I are trying to figure out what movie to watch. Should we wait?_  
Ellie wiped her hands on her jeans.  
 _Nah, you apparently hate my movies lol leaving in 2_  
Satisfied with her message, she hit send and grabbed her “box o weed” from underneath her bed. Ellie sifted through and grabbed two joints, put them in her back pocket, then rushed downstairs. She scrawled a note quickly and left it at the coffee table in front of Joel. Ellie went through her work jackets to see what looked the nicest and settled for the black tattered one. It smelled like hay, but it could be worse. She slipped it on and was out the door.

According to Ellies phone GPS, Dina’s place was a 17 minute walk. The town seemed a little busier than earlier. Families were eating outside, kids were running everywhere, other folks walking their dogs waving to one another. Ellie saw a couple of people she knew. Well, she didn’t know them, they knew Joel. Most people knew Joel, but by association they also knew Ellie. She waved, stopped a couple times to have a quick conversation. Ellie was in a better mood than normal, so she didn’t mind stopping to chat.

It was ten minutes of walking and Elle felt a grumble in the pit of her stomach. It dawned on her that she hasn’t eaten today. She didn’t want to hang on an empty stomach or worse yet eat food like a monster in front of Dina like before. Around the corner was a deli stop. She sent a quick text to Dina to see if she wanted anything.  
Stopping to get food. You or Jesse want anything? It was polite to ask Jesse if he wanted anything, too. Ellie was being polite.  
Ellie didn’t hear from her so she stepped inside to get herself a sandwich, can of soda and a bag of chips. She grabbed a bigger bag too in case Dina and Jesse got the munchies. She left with a small bag hooked around her wrist. Ellie checked her phone again, no message. A tiny drop of panic was festering away at Ellie. She tried to focus on her breathing, but the festering was leaving a scar on her conscience. Ellie was closer to the backend of Jackson, so she wasn’t in total familiarity anymore. The trees loomed over her, watching her every step. There were no sounds of children or people talking. It was only the sound of the breeze and Ellie’s footsteps. The silence was overwhelming and the festering began to boil.

Ellie checked her phone again to see no new messages. She was walking around longer than she should have. Ellie hasn’t bothered to check the street signs or her GPS anymore. She was just walking. Maybe this was her chance. Her chance to just run. She left a note, so Joel would be okay. She could get away from the chaos and calamity. Living in that house with fifteen different people was too much. Someone was crying or getting beat up. There was always yelling, yelling, yelling!

A swarm of memories flooded her and Ellie had to sit. Her chest was hurting too much and she couldn’t breathe. She tried to dial a number in her phone but she couldn’t press send. Her hands were shaking too much. Ellie laid flat on her back and felt the ground beneath her. It was cold, it was hard on her back. Her hands were rubbing the Earth trying to feel its presence. She could feel the bits of dirt. It was gritty. She smelled the air above her. It was clean. She closed her eyes to close out the thoughts. She did this for a couple minutes, focusing on the world around her than the intruding thoughts.

Ellie could feel her breathing return the normal. She opened her eyes to a darker sky. How long was she out for? She went to sit up and felt another rumble in her belly. “Ugh, I feel like shit.” She slowly rose to stand, but felt wobbly and had to sit back down.

Her phone was vibrating. She went to check it and saw a swarm of messages and missed calls. Two were from Joel, three from Dina and one from an unknown number. She checked the messages first.  
 _We’re good on food! We ordered pepperoni pizza, you’re favorite._  
 _Hey where are you? Just checking to make sure you didn’t get kidnapped._  
 _Please give me a call._  
 _I had Jesse call you but it keeps going to voicemail. It’s okay if you bailed I just want to know you’re okay._  
The last text was from Joel.  
 _Hey kiddo… just calling to say I got your note. Have a good night._

Ellie felt so stupid. She wasn’t sure how to explain this to Dina or Jesse. She didn’t want to be freaked out or think Ellie was coming up with an excuse. She saw her phone light up again and it was Dina calling. Ellie hesitated for a moment, but it was probably better to let her know she’s okay.

“Hello? Ellie”? Ellie could hear concern in Dina’s voice.  
“Yeah, hey. That’s me” Nice.  
“Are you okay?”  
“Yeah.” Ellie clears her throat. “Yeah I’m good. Uh, Joel needed me so I had to go home.”  
“Oh…”  
“Sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I haven’t checked my phone until now.” Ellie was playing with the dirt on the ground, trying to steady her voice.  
“Oh. No. It’s cool.” Dina seemed off. “Is everything okay?”  
“Yeah, of course…” Ellie wasn’t sure what more she should say. I’m sorry I’m a fucking idiot and this is why I don’t have any friends seemed a little more accurate, but maybe too much.  
“Well, I’m just glad to hear you’re okay.”  
“Jesse stop it I’m on the phone,” Dina said, her voice away from the phone. That didn’t help Ellie’s mood much at all.  
“I gotta go, I’ll text ya.” Ellie said abruptly.  
“Sure… Later.”  
Ellie hung up before she could hear anymore bantering from Jesse and Dina. She bawled her fists around the dirt and flung it to the side. “GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!” Ellie screamed into the dark sky. No one returned her reply. She was feeling the hangry come onto her now. She decided to eat her food like a rat on the side of the road, even finishing the big bag of chips by herself. Once she felt full and more decent, she felt a surge of guilt for lying to Dina. Ellie’s done a lot of shitty things, but lying? She’s not that type of person. Ellie really likes to tell you what’s on her mind, even if you don’t want to hear it.

She took out her phone and typed two different messages.  
 _Hey, be home sooner than I thought. Everythings fine, just tired._ She sent that to Joel.  
 _Are you busy tomorrow? I have work in the morning, but I’m free during the night._

She sent that to Dina before she could regret it. Ellie waited by her phone before standing to try to walk back. Ellie was tired of beating herself up, sometimes she deserved it, but she was getting too exhausted from this self-deprecation.

Only a few minutes passed until she saw her phone light up. It was from Dina.  
 _Who works on a Sunday morning? :p you can just tell me you’re going to church Sister Ellie._  
Another message came through.  
 _To answer your question, yes I’m free. Want to try to come here again or if it’s easier for you we can do something els_ e?  
Ellie appreciated that Dina was so accommodated without knowing any history of what actually happened. She smiled and replied quickly, now standing up.  
 _Lol yea if i went to church i would burn immediately. I can come there._  
She’s hoping Joel is free and will actually want to drive her. He’s been up her ass for any type of interaction, so there’s no way he would say no.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading as always


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> finally getting somewhere!

It wasn’t that late by the time Ellie arrived home, so Joel was still up. She could tell she looked like a mess and from Joel’s reaction, he only cemented those thoughts. He was sitting in the same position she last saw him, but this time those dark bags under his eyes weren’t as dark and he seemed to be a little more with it. 

She wanted to try to avoid him, but she also needed to ask for a favor so she sauntered in the front door closing it behind.

“Hey...how you feeling?” Ellie asked.

“Better, and by the looks of it, better than you.” Joel remarked. “Everything okay?” Ellie went to sit down next to him, he scooted over to make sure there was enough room between them.

“Just, just another panic attack.”

“Did… did something happen?” Joel asked nervously. He was trying to not overreach. All he wanted was for Ellie to talk to him, but he knows that she’s not someone who can open up so easily. He respected that.

“Not really. Well, kinda. I don’t know,” she put her hands in her face and combed through her hair. Ellie wasn’t sure entirely what happened. She has her triggers, yes, but lately she’s been more on edge. 

Joel cleared his throat. “Listen,” he leaned over and closed his hands together. He rubbed his forehead with his thumbs and turned to look at Ellie. “Oh shoot… You know I’m not good with words, but I do know what it’s like to have “seen some shit”, as you so nicely put it. And I know…” Joel’s nervous tapping came into play. He wasn’t sure how to bring this up without upsetting Ellie, but he knew he had to try. “I know this is right around the time when your panic attacks increase. I think it might be because of a certain date coming up.” He left it at that.

He looked over to see Ellie staring blankly at the tv. Her lip started to tremble, but she immediately shut that down. She wasn’t going to cry in front of Joel.

“It’s hard talking to you,” she looked over at him now. There was deep pain in her eyes. There was a coldness, a silent chill that went down Joel’s spine. 

“You can’t just pretend like you can be my “dad” after what you did, Joel.”

“I know,” Joel sighed, still looking at Ellie.

He was about to say more, but Ellie cut him off. “I want to talk to you, I do,” Ellie said, still not taking her eyes off of him. His eyes looked sad and painful. Is he just a reflection of what Ellie is going to be?

“But, I need time. There’s still so much… hate,” Ellie huffed out that last word. This hatred she’s been carrying has been weighing her down. But is Ellie to blame? How is she supposed to deal with all these heavy, intense feelings? So she stores them, and locks them, and never wants to deal with them because they’re just too much.

“I don’t want to hate you anymore,” Ellie finished.

“I’d like that,” was all Joel replied. He could’ve said more, but he didn’t want to. This was a start for them, so Joel was grateful.

Ellie leaned back on the couch and let out a deep breath. Was Ellie not breathing that entire time? Joel went to stand up. He was cleaning up the plates and various cups on the coffee table. Ellie felt tired, but she remembered the whole reason for talking to Joel in first place.

“So, uh, Joel?” she asked.

“Yes?” he replied as he was taking the plates and cups to the kitchen.

“Could you drive me to my friends house tomorrow night?” Ellie asked. She knew that this was a shot in the dark. After the conversation they just had, it was likely he would say yes, however, Ellie wasn’t sure if she was pushing her luck.

“Sure kid, but on one condition.”

Oh no. Of course, there’s always a condition.

“Ugh, okay what?” Ellie groaned.

“You still have to pay me back for not leaving a note the other night,” he said as he leaned on the kitchen counter. He was stroking his beard, looking away from Ellie, but she swore she could see him smirking.

“You gotta be kidding me.”

“Nope, that’s the deal,” Joel said.

It could be worse. And it’s true, Ellie did say she would do chores around so Joel would stop yelling at her. But she really didn’t think he would remember or care to bring it up again.

“Okay, fine fine. You win old man,” she said slouching back on the couch.

Joel chuckled a bit. “I’m not sure I do win, but okay.” He walked away from the counter towards the stairs, but stopped on the first step.

“Can I ask who this friend is of yours?” Joel looked eager. Ellie isn’t the most sociable person.

Ellie was prepared for Joel to ask this question, so she was ready to tell him, which would be the truth.

“Uh, her names Dina. She works at the pizza parlor, that’s how we met.”

“It would be like to you to meet someone at that place,” he laughed heartily. Ellie smiled to herself, he really did know her too well.

“You’re so annoying.”

Joel looked like he wanted to say more, but he resisted. Instead, he walked upstairs. Ellie laid down on the couch and pressed replay on the TV. A sad, mournful song started to play and Ellie fell asleep to  _ The Ghost of the Country Poet. _

  
  


Ellie felt like this was the longest work day of her life. It was partially due to the fact that she’s not used to working on a Sunday, so her body is slightly confused. But also, the fact that she has actual plans. She’s sent Dina a few texts here and there to make sure that their plans are still on. Originally, Ellie was going to go to her house, but turns out Dinas’ sister was having people over, so they had to improvise.

_ Wanna go to the movies? Smoke walk?? Something else?? _

_ I’m not sure what there is to do in Jackson besides spit in a jug and square dancing _

_ Lol youre not wrong. Smoke walk sounds nice. _

Ellie likes going to the movies, the last time she went was Joel a few summers ago. They went to see one of those cheesy, shark attack movies. It was in 3D and Ellie couldn’t believe how realistic it felt. Although, this was also the time she learned that Joel was terrified of sharks.

“I really didn’t take you one to be scared of sharks. I thought you weren’t scared of anything.”

“Everybody has a fear, Ellie. And sharks, well, I don’t want to mess with those big guys. I’m sure they wouldn’t mind a tasty bite of Joel for dinner.”

“More like they’d probably spit you right out.”

But the movies were outside of Jackson in a town called Darcy. Ellie doesn’t really leave outside of Jackson, so a smoke walk sounds like the best bet. 

The plan was to still go to Dina’s, but walk around her neighborhood. This gave Ellie some pause after what happened last time, but she felt confident that things would be okay. Or maybe she was delusional, who knows. Dina said there was a pond by her house, too, so maybe it would be cool to explore some parts of Jackson Ellie wasn’t aware of. Ellie wasn’t sure if she’s always been this adventurous or not.

“Girl, I ain’t never seen you so caught up in your phone of yours,” Maria said towards the end of Ellie’s shift.

Ellie looked up from her phone after sending a ridiculously corny joke to Dina. Her cheeks started to heat up.

“Uh, fuck sorry sorry,” Ellie put her phone away in her back pocket. “I’m about finished up with the chickens. Do you want me to do anything else?” Ellie wanted to change the subject before Maria could pry any further.

Maria looked suspiciously at Ellie. She felt the sun out on her back as sweat dropped from her brow. She would question this girl later when it wasn’t so damn hot out.

“No, Ellie you’re good,” she paused again to wipe her forehead. “Goddamit it’s hot out,” one of the piglets squealed in the back. “Yeah, you feel hot too little piggy?” Maria bent down to calm it’s nerves. Ellie smiled at the interaction between Maria and the piglet.

Ellie’s phone vibrated again. “I’m gonna go finish the chickens then I’ll be on my way,” Ellie started to walk away. “See you tomorrow, Maria!” Maria looked back at Ellie, eyes sparkled with more suspicion. “Bye now hunny.”

Ellie spent the rest of her afternoon playing her guitar. Occasionally, she would get a text from Dina that would distract her, but she learned how to multitask. Joel was out with Tommy looking for a new truck. It was nice to have the house to herself, she didn’t have to worry about Joel coming in and asking a stupid question to get her attention. After a couple failed attempts at learning a new song, Ellie decided to put down the guitar and get in the shower.

They were supposed to meet at Dina’s at seven ish, so Ellie had two hours to kill. The nerves were starting to hit her as the warm water rinsed her body. Ellie didn’t know much about Dina. She knew she had a sister and lived with her, worked at the pizza place, and that’s about it. They didn’t talk much about their interests besides when they were at Ellie’s. She also didn’t know what Dina’s… status was with Jesse.

They seemed close, which was odd since Dina was the new girl in town. How did they get so close so quickly in such a short time? Did they know each other from before? More importantly, did this really matter? If Dina was seeing Jesse, why did that thought make Ellie so fired up? As these thoughts bubbled, Ellie’s skin began to prune and realized it was maybe time to get out.

As she was dressing herself, she heard the front door open, which was perfect timing since it was only an hour away until seven. Ellie looked for the most impressive outfit; which meant to her another plaid shirt, ripped jeans, and boots. She thought about bringing a jacket, but they all were beat up, old or smelly. It was so hot earlier too, so Ellie was sure she would be okay without a jacket. 

She combed her short, brown hair and tried to style it. Having no idea what she was doing, she decided to tie her bangs in a little bun in the back. Satisfied after looking in the mirror, she dashed downstairs to let Joel know it was almost time to leave.

Except, she couldn’t find Joel. She heard the door open, so he had to be somewhere in the house. She looked in the kitchen, bathroom and laundry room, but there was no sign of anyone. 

“Joel?” Ellie asked absently. There was no reply, only an echo.

“What the fuck,” she whispered to herself. She clicked on his contact in her phone and it rang a few times, but ended on his voicemail.

“This is Joel, leave a message.”

“You fucking asshole,” Ellie said hanging on the phone. She was distracted by the no call/no show of Joel that she didn’t notice footsteps coming up behind her.

A pair of hands went around her eyes to blind her from the person behind. 

“Boo!” said a gruff voice.

Ellie had a fight or flight reflex in situations like these, and this time it was to fight. She panicked for a moment, elbowed the person right in the gut, and shot her fist back up towards the nose. It was a one-two punch she learned a while ago that often came in handy.

The person behind backed away screaming. “Oh fuck Ellie! What’d you go do that for?”

Ellie turned around to see a stumbling Tommy holding his bloody nose. She probably should’ve felt bad, but he should probably also know not to sneak up on her like that.

Tommy had similar features of Joel; sad eyes, firm jawline, a little scruff here and there. He wasn’t as gray as Joel and his hair was longer, more blonde and femine. It was tied in a ponytail almost always. 

He also could be a pain in the ass, too.

“Why the fuck would you sneak up on me?” Ellie demanded.

“I didn’t think you would sock me in the nose!” Tommy said, still holding his nose. His eyes were starting to water now.    
“Shit girl, you really know how to punch,” he started to walk towards the bathroom to clean himself up. Ellie could hear the water running and splashing. The adrenaline she felt before was starting to melt away. She sat on one of the chairs in the living room to steady her shaking.

She heard the water stop and Tommy came out. His nose was starting to bruise and he had little pieces of toilet paper sticking out. Ellie couldn’t help but laugh.

“Oh you think this is funny? Wait til I tell your old man about what you did.”

At that moment, Joel walked into the house. He saw the scene before him. Ellie with her arms crossed, giving Tommy the ugliest mean mug, and Tommy staring back, blood on his jacket and toilet paper up his nose.

“Did Tommy sneak up on you kid?” Joel asked Ellie innocently, almost acting like this isn’t the first time this has happened.

“Fuckin’ right.”

“Well, Tommy. Looks like you got what was coming to you,” Joel closed the door behind, hanging up his jacket.

“Oh, you guys are unbelievable,” Tommy said aghast. 

“Well don’t sneak up on me, asshole.”

“Hey now, don’t be cursing,” Joel said, looking back at the two.

“She goddamn nearly broke my nose and you’re worried about her cursing,” Tommy said almost laughing now.

Ellie knew Tommy didn’t mean any harm. This wasn’t the first time he tried to pull one of these pranks, but time was being wasted and she had places to be. 

“Joel, are you ready to go now?” Ellie said impatiently.

Before Joel could answer, Tommy broke in. “Hold up, where you going? You ain’t gonna say sorry to this beautiful face,” he was joking now. Tommy couldn’t stay mad at Ellie for that long. It was his fault too for sneaking up.

“Looks like she did ya a favor there brother. You got some personality to you now,” Joel laughed. “Come on, kid. Tommy you wanna wait here or tag along?” Joel went to put his jacket back on, assuming he forgot he was driving Ellie.

“I don’t wanna be socked again, so I’ll wait on right here.” He looked at Ellie. “Have a good time Ellie.” He smiled.

“Thanks Tommy,” Ellie said, getting up. “And uh, sorry about your face. But you kinda deserved it,” she said walking out.

Tommy gave a hmph and saluted Joel. Tommy didn’t understand parenting or didn’t bother trying, but he was fun and kind. He was the perfect crazy, troublemaker Uncle that any kid could want. Ellie was grateful for him even when he did behave like an ass.

Ellie and Joel both got in Joel’s truck and sped off towards Dina. Ellie shot Dina a quick text to let her know she was on her way.

_ Leaving now, be there in 5 _

Ellie held her phone for the rest of the drive just in case Dina texted her. Maybe Dina would change her mind last minute. Anymore intruding thoughts Ellie pushed away.

The drive was mostly silent except when Joel commented on Ellie’s assault on Tommy.

“He did deserve it, you’re not wrong.”

It was a short drive, so Ellie was grateful no other topics could come up. They drove up to Dina’s street. Ellie tried to ignore the swell of anxiety in her chest from when she tried to come here and instead focus on seeing Dina.  _ I wonder what she’ll be wearing this time.  _

Joel pulled up to an apartment building about three floors high. It was a little beat up, with mold and grass growing on the side. The parking lot only had a couple cars in it all with dents or cracks along the edges. Most of the windows were dark except the one with lights and blaring music, they must be Dina’s room. Ellie texted Dina to let her know she was here so went to unbuckle her seatbelt and get out of the car.

Before she could escape Joel said, “Mind if I meet your friend?”

This took Ellie a bit by surprise. He seemed so solemn a minute ago. “Uh,” Ellie tried to come with a good reason why Joel shouldn’t meet her. But she saw the figure of Dina coming out of the building. It was too late.

Dina was wearing a maroon button up that was left a little open at the collar with a black leather jacket on. She had on acid wash jeans with a pair of similar boots that she had on the day before. Her hair was tied up this time, but a few hairs were left dangling near her face. She saw what she assumed was Joel’s truck and came walking towards it.

Joel noticed this girl walking towards it and took it as a cue to get out. Ellie whispered quickly to Joel, “Please don’t say anything stupid.”

Dina walked up to the car and said breathlessly to Ellie, “Hey there.” 

“Hey,” Ellie replied standing outside of the passenger side. She looked over to Joel, clearly not afraid of the menacing man in front of her. “You must be Joel.” She walked over to offer her handshake. “I’m Dina.”

Joel shook her hand back. “Nice grip on you there young lady.” Dina seemed pleased with herself, standing back towards Ellie. 

“Well, you girls have fun. Call me if you need me, stupid,” Joel said smiling. 

“Goddammit Joel,” Ellie whispered to herself. 

“Nice to meet you, Dina,” he turned towards Dina, nodding in her direction.

“Nice to meet you, too sir,” she said politely.

“Bye Joel,” Ellie said exasperated. He then got in his truck, started it and drove away. It started to dawn on Ellie that she never asked Joel for a ride back. Did he assume she was picking her up? She felt embarrassed to ask him for another favor, so walking back would be her only option. She was not going to fuck up this night, she could handle it.

Dina noticed Ellie staring into space, watching Joel drive away. She nudged her with her shoulder.

“Uh, Earth to Ellie, you good?” 

Ellie coming back to Earth looked over at Dina. “Uh, oh yeah. I’m good. Sorry,” she picked a loose string on her shirt. “I just realized I forgot to ask for a ride back,” Ellie added.

“Oh, well… I could walk you home,” Dina sensing Ellie’s anxiety.

“You sure?” Ellie said, a little puzzled. She didn’t want to inconvenience Dina. She put her hands in her pocket so she would stop picking at her sleeve.

“Dude, it’s no problem. I don’t have work tomorrow so I can be up allll night,” Dina emphasized on ‘night’ and sent a wink. A cute girl winking at Ellie, this was too much.

Ellie laughed nervously. 

“Well, we’ll see how the night goes. I think I should be okay.”

Dina wasn’t totally buying it, but she didn’t want to push. “Sure, sounds good,” she started to walk away from the parking lot, Ellie following behind. 

“So, you still cool with going to this pond? It’s about a 30 minute walk.”

“Yep,” Ellie said, walking in syncopation with Dina. The weather was perfect, the stars were out shining the way, and while Ellie felt nervous and terrible, she had a good feeling about tonight. “Lead the way and I’ll follow you,” Ellie said smiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!


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